Friday, June 23, 2006


The front door to the library opens and here he comes . . . Dum-da-da-dum . . . CrackMan! What, you may ask, has earned CrackMan such an ominous nick-name? CrackMan has been thus dubbed because of the view the library staff gets as he pines hours away at the computer.

Is your teenage daughter bored? Does she need someone to view her online profile and tell her how great the posted picture of her cleavage is? Never fear, CrackMan is here. He ties up public internet terminals for weeks at a time. He has fine tuned the clever art of online stalking. He proves once and for all that you don’t have to be a rocket science to find pathetic, lonely teenage girls who will tell you their “most embarrassing moment.”

CrackMan enters the scene, scopes the situation. Hmmmm . . . all terminals are in use. He turns to leave. Don’t be discouraged, CrackMan. There’ll be other days for you to exploit vulnerable teenage girls.


At 10:46 AM, Blogger Metal Mark said...

I think every library has a patron or two like this.

At 8:41 PM, Blogger miriam said...

We had our own crackman. He would sit at one of the tables in reference and his pants would go down, revealing his ass-crack.

We tried everything. One of the security guards gave him a belt, but it didn't help. Finally, I had to tell him he had to do something about this or he would be barred from the library.

At 1:07 PM, Blogger bitterlibrarian said...

WOW! Massive props for actually saying something to him. I don't think I'd have the guts.

At 1:26 AM, Blogger Summer Reader said...

You, too, huh? Metal Mark must be right--every library does have one of these guys. Terry Pratchett must be right about the morphic resonance.


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